On staying positive.

And the Dichotomy of Control.

Recently, a friend said to me:

I’m finding the waiting for interviews, new opportunities and conversations a bit frustrating. I feel like I’m doing what I can (applying, reaching out, studying), but things just don’t seem to be moving. I want to believe it’s just the time of year, but part of me worries it might not be.

This was my reply:

I came from a very humble background, and I took the example of what I saw at home (my parents were primarily left-wing and always saw the world with two sides - the employers and the working people). But I always had a feeling that something wasn’t precisely right. So I left, first to another city, then to another country. It was hard, but it was the best feeling of my life.

This was a short preamble to what I’m going to say next.

Looking back, I think I always kept positive because of 3 factors:

First, I never gave up. It doesn’t matter if I win or lose. If there’s a new day, there’s a new try, and I’ll keep doing it every day until I die - I never, ever, ever give up - so I’ve already won something important.

Second, not everything is under my control: I can’t control my health, what others think of me, or what others decide. I can, however, take care of what I eat, what I do, and how I behave. I can’t control the world, and I accept my destiny - but I’ll control myself and handle the situations the best I can.

Third, people are good. Even if they behave in ways I don’t understand. People want me to be successful. They want to help me. They want to do what is right. But I need to help them take that step.

With this mindset, it’s very rare for me to be in a bad mood or feeling poorly.